tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4553951271806645988.post3837524186204054674..comments2023-10-29T12:28:26.775+00:00Comments on Charley Robson's Leaning Tower of Plot: The Return of the Dark Lady - Part TwoCharley Robsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09542608515324640174noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4553951271806645988.post-48961675402483923282020-02-28T06:13:07.443+00:002020-02-28T06:13:07.443+00:00this is amazing!
Satta kingthis is amazing!<br /><a href="https://www.playbazaar.xyz/" rel="nofollow">Satta king</a>playbazaarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15452559552575175081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4553951271806645988.post-42685287395760257762013-03-09T20:38:09.564+00:002013-03-09T20:38:09.564+00:00I feel the same way about reading it!I feel the same way about reading it!Liam, Head Philhttp://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4553951271806645988.post-74857983953241851352013-03-09T17:47:09.147+00:002013-03-09T17:47:09.147+00:00Heh heh, oh yes. I have far too much fun with this...Heh heh, oh yes. I have far too much fun with this to stop xDCharley Robsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09542608515324640174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4553951271806645988.post-43844570928648189582013-03-08T20:36:35.971+00:002013-03-08T20:36:35.971+00:00Future installments? Whoopie!Future installments? Whoopie!Liam, Head Philhttp://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4553951271806645988.post-35239553508880872822013-03-08T13:49:08.705+00:002013-03-08T13:49:08.705+00:00Oh blast it - this is why I almost regret turning ...Oh blast it - this is why I almost regret turning off the spelling checker on Safari *sighs*<br /><br />Glad I managed to fix it up, though! I do hope there'll be less mess made in future installments. If I ever get around to those :PCharley Robsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09542608515324640174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4553951271806645988.post-37771926574871107392013-03-08T04:07:38.949+00:002013-03-08T04:07:38.949+00:00Well, when you can't critique the style, criti...Well, when you can't critique the style, critique the spelling. "Appeasement" accidentally hid three P's, and an extra e snuck into "acceded". Have fun looking for them.<br /><br />But this was much better. Those extra paragraphs of backstory were definitely worth it. Though they slow the thing down a little, I think you took the same risk in the first and second stories as well. It's so much better, though. Good job!Liam, Head Philhttp://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4553951271806645988.post-35262958790729989502013-03-08T03:58:08.287+00:002013-03-08T03:58:08.287+00:00I was probably mistaken in putting the sections wi...I was probably mistaken in putting the sections within the chapters-- chapters should be within sections, right?Liam, Head Philhttp://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4553951271806645988.post-68728312161454201342013-03-07T22:36:54.845+00:002013-03-07T22:36:54.845+00:00Whoops. I guess I got a bit rushed towards the end...Whoops. I guess I got a bit rushed towards the end - they were making me go for a RUN. In the RAIN. To EXERCISE.<br /><br />I think I shall avoid two-parters in future; I got distracted in the middle and forgot to give the relevant backstory and tried to cover it up with a plot twist in the end. Ugh. Come on Charley, you're supposed to be good at this writing thing!<br /><br />Will make some amendments - but I'm glad I got that sentence problem down this time! xP<br /><br />As for that regulation specification . . . what is this sorcery!?Charley Robsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09542608515324640174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4553951271806645988.post-37217079462674521842013-03-07T20:34:13.830+00:002013-03-07T20:34:13.830+00:00Well... This was rather confusing, frankly. It d...Well... This was rather confusing, frankly. It doesn't seem to follow your earlier piece in story. I thought it was a direct continuation, but I was wrong. Also, things felt a little... off. I didn't see what was going on until the very end. It might have been my inability to interpret the acronym DIY-- I had to Google it eventually. I didn't get the sense that Lord Snark had sent anything, nor that they were curtains, nor that the Dark Lady was trying to assemble anything in particular. In your first two stories, you added backstory wherever you wanted it, whereas in this one you only gave glimpses, and the ending plot twist was much less effective. Additionally, the Dark Lady just talked too much. In the first story, she utters a grand total of seven words (I counted). In the second, she utters one. In this, she is positively loquacious. You set her up as the silent type, and abruptly knocked it down. That isn't the sort of upset you use as a plot twist.<br /><br />All that aside, I did love this one, once I got to know it. I was positively shocked when I saw your regulations specification: "chapter twenty-two, section C..." I specified that same rule last night when I was noodling around with the short story I was telling you about. Amazing. I'll have to change mine.<br /><br />By the way, the sentence length was much better this time.Liam, Head Philhttp://insideliamsbrain.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com