Sorry for my absence - school has been manic, and I'm currently drowning in a sea of shark-infested homework. However, yesterday, in the Abbey, during the service, I felt something very special that I would like to share with everyone.
Anyone who knows me will know that, up until now, I have been something of an aetheist-borderline-agnostic. I haven't been able to get my facts straight about my spiritual beliefs for years; one moment I'm worried that God won't accept me because I'm doing something wrong, the next I'm wondering if I'm being paranoid over nothing and should get my head checked out. I've battled with the confusion of what I believe for years, but yesterday I had an epiphany.
I am now proud to call myself a Christian.
It's taken a while, but I've finally worked it out. I've always had a sense that there was something that made things happen the way they did, and with a life like mine it's pretty impossible not to have strange moments where you think "Wow, I didn't expect that, what a coincidence." Well now I've worked out that it wasn't just chance that gave me such a brilliant - for, however much I whinge about it, I do love my life - and exciting existence.
Also, I've been praying to myself for years (without knowing it of course). I'd think to myself "please, give me strength to do this, I need some help right now" and, most of the time, I usually feel better after that. And sometimes, just sometimes, usually when I'm feeling really awful and wishing I could be anyone else but me, I hear a little voice in my head that says "don't give up, it'll all pass, just keep going and it'll all be okay."
Now, I think that voice is God.
But that doesn't mean I know everything. I'm still confused as to what being a Christian might entail, and what sort of things I'm supposed to do to be a good one. Heck, I even had trouble knowing what to do when I went up for my first blessing in the Abbey.
But I like to think I'm on the right path. I'll just have to hope and pray I can stay there.
Cue the shiny halos and angelic choirs, cause the Spook has converted! *silly grins*
And don't worry, I'll be back to my usual comic-making, extract-posting randomness as soon as possible, have no fear.