Because this is Beautiful People's one-year anniversary, Georgie and Skye have decided to do something special this month. It's an optional challenge focusing on … relationships! Not normally my cup of tea, but, you know what, I think it could be very good fun.
However, here I came across a slight hitch. Though the questions don’t state this specifically, I get the feeling this month’s questions are aimed at a romantic couple, rather than just a random pair of characters. Though I am working hard to sort out the romance factor of my Aeserion Trilogy rewrite, Rin’s sweetheart hasn’t got much more than a name at this stage, and it wouldn’t be much fun if I went and set their relationship down here only to have it eaten and sicked up on the carpet by a plot bunny overnight.
So, instead, I’ve decided to find the most interesting couple I have. You lot have met Vidal before, of course – he’s taken to haunting this blog, it seems. And today, with the aid of bribery, begging and a large pack of biscuits, the Bastard of Tanelorn has agreed to grace us all with his presence. With him, you’ll meet Lady Arystel Greysong – a classy, high-society Kinswoman. A bored, classy high-society Kinswoman.
Now then – let’s see what they’ve got to say for themselves:
1. Do they believe in anything that most people think is impossible?
Vidal: I’ve seen ice burn, kings wear rags and fools lead armies. I’ll not discount the truth in anything nowadays.
Arystel: I’d say there were plenty of impossible things in this world. I’m not half the conspiracy theorist Vidal is.
2. Are they strong, or the "damsel/knight in distress" sort?
Vidal: *raises an eyebrow* Does the fact that people call me “The Bastard” not say enough?
Arystel: I doubt I’ll ever need to be rescued. I’m not stupid enough to get myself into distress in the first place.
3. Do they have a special place? (e.g. a corner in his/her bedroom, under a tree...)
Vidal: Please excuse me while I go and cough up a hairball. All this whimsical nonsense is upsetting my stomach.
Arystel: *rolls her eyes at Vidal* I’m fond of the riverside, but there’s a particular peace about the Bonegrounds. I sometimes go and sit with my sisters of an afternoon. They don’t talk much, but, well, I like to think they’d enjoy catching up on the gossip.
4. What occupation do they have, or plan on having?
Arystel: Ha, as if I have any choice in the matter! I’ll be married and settle down to the job of trying to squeeze out a squalling heir for whichever manner of respectable man I’m given to. *she sticks her tongue out in disgust*
Vidal: Occupation? Well, I wouldn’t call it that, but I do have something to do with my time. The pay isn’t fantastic, but there are certain perks to the job. *he yawns* Pity about the death-threats, really.
5. Explain their last crisis. How had they changed when they came out of it?
Vidal: *bark-laughs* Crisis?! I’m a crisis on legs!
Arystel: And as if he wasn’t bad enough, there’s the small matter of a civil war … oh, you mean personally? Oh, I don’t do those. Not at all.
6. If they could drive any kind of car they wanted, what would it be?
*Vidal and Arystel both stare blankly.*
7. How do they deal with change?
Vidal: I don’t “deal with it”. It deals with me.
Arystel: There’s no point in arguing with things one can’t alter. Much easier to sit and watch and work around it if necessary.
8. If they had to amputate one body part, which one would they choose?
Arystel: What sort of bizarre question is that? Oh, I suppose it would have to be the middle finger on my left hand. It’s a pretty useless appendage really.
Vidal: It might also help with your incurable swearing problem.
Arystel: *looking affronted* Look who’s talking! What about you then?
Vidal: The idiot who thinks he’s removing my limbs has another thing coming. Perhaps he’ll learn a lesson or two about sociable behaviour while he’s scraping his entrails off the walls.
9. What would their favorite be at the local coffee shop?
Vidal: Coffee? You mean that vile smelly drink the traders have started importing from the lowlands?
Arystel: It’s for drinking? And here I was thinking it was some sort of lotion or cure for chest infections.
Vidal: Really? Ah … perhaps I ought to apologise to Asphodel after all … I thought it was my uncle making another piss-poor attempt to poison me.
And here are the extra 5:
1. How did they meet?
Arystel: We met at one of my brother’s dinner parties – he’d spoken so much about Vidal I thought I had to come and see this infamous creature for myself.
Vidal: A very scintillating discussion we had too – I think it was something about the origins of the bloodlines?
Arystel: Yes. I think it all started when Yallar Fairwind started rambling on about blood superiority and we had to correct him …
Vidal: Oh, I remember now. Strange, for such a talkative fellow he didn’t talk much after that …
2. How do these two deal with conflict?
Arystel: I don’t do conflict. It gets rather tiresome after a time.
Vidal: Conflict and I have a special arrangement. He scratches my back, I scratch his. *He smiles, showing off a set of glittering sharp teeth*
3. Do they have a special song, phrase, item, or place?
Arystel: Well, there’s my family motto … oh, you mean between the two of us?
*She looks at Vidal. He looks back. Both of them snort with mirth*
4. What kind of things do they like to do together?
Arystel: *in a mocking, sighing tone* Oh, romantic strolls in the forest, dancing at high society balls, buying trinkets in the marketplace, dining with our friends –
Vidal: *smirking* Gazing at the stars in each other’s embrace.
Arystel: Yes. Sometimes Vidal comes and serenades me outside my window –
Vidal: When I’m not writing ardent love poetry.
Arystel: Oh, *she clasps her hand to her heart* how could I ever forget!
*The two burst out laughing again*
5. Describe their relationship as a whole in 3 words or less.
Vidal: *picking up a note that Charley has shoved to him across the table* Errr … “Bonnie and Clyde”?
Arystel: Fascinating. As much as I’d love to sit about and ponder the immense improbabilities of our author’s brain, I’m afraid I have more pressing needs to attend to. Imladris Noonlight wants me to come and join her for supper – apparently she’s had a deer bought in especially for the occasion.
Vidal: Oh, enjoy that. If you see her father, tell him I send my condolences.
Arystel: Whatever for?
Vidal: *cackles* You’ll see. You’ll see.