I'm not referring to boozing up and going out on the razz here - though, admittedly, I would sooner have a mouthful of dental tools than do that either. I'm talking about drinking fluids in general. I just don't do it. I have, quite literally, very little interest in fuelling myself on that which is vital for my survival.
Coffee? Nuh uh.
Coke? Let the plant have it.
Water? Passable only when hiking up the highest hill on Dartmoor, smelling like a vagrant and physically resembling a recovering heroin addict.
Though, admittedly, I'd sooner drink straight river water than boil it. I never knew microbes could be so flavoursome.
It's a problem I've had for a long while - much of my childhood was spent taking reluctant sips of apple juice, and testing a variety of highly unsavoury and suspicously coloured cordials. Thankfully I'm quite fond of fruit juice now - apple juice, blackcurrant cordials, forest fruit mixes, that sort of thing. I've even managed to persuade myself into lemonade, though it takes me a good twenty minutes to get through a glass that should take half a minute. The fizz and my nose do not compute nicely.
So, you can guess what my reaction was when, over easter, I was visiting my hugely energetic young cousins. After two hours of wrestling on the floor, playing sleeping lions and wanting to strangle the designers of a particularly ill-crafted netball hoop, I discovered a rare need for fluids and discovered my options were milk, water and cranberry juice.
I felt scuppered. Since the age of two, I had blatantly refused to drink milk - call it a desire to age fast, or the result of a particularly terrifying incident with a cow. Water, as we have already ascertained, holds no excitement for me. So I was left with the prospect of drinking the suspicious red-purple concoction that my grandmother is so fond of. The fact that my Duke of Edinburgh instructors had recommended it for clearing gut infections was also a teeny bit off putting. I like my internal balance just the way it is, thanks.
But, desperate as I was, I knew it was drink, or die of dehydration. Like a derp.
My reaction was thus:
I like cranberry juice. This now brings the total of acceptable liquids in my life up to ... about ten.
Why bother telling you this? Because I'm curious - what sort of dietary idiosyncracies do you guys have. I'm one of those people who believes you can tell a lot about a person from the sort of food / fluid they like. Exactly what, I'm not sure. I guess I just want to see if I'm weird becuase I drink something I previously thought was only a functional cure for cystitis.
Tell away! Free cookies for all who surrender their factoids!
- Charley R