Thursday, 31 May 2012

Attack of the Ten-Foot, Purple-Headed Alien Awards!

Dooblydooblydoo ... oh, hello readers! Didn't see you there. How have you been? No serious trauma lately, I hope? Well, at least you don't have drunken Vogons turning up at your door at three in the morning, demanding you read their latest books - because everyone knows Vogon literature is so awful that no living being in the universe can bear to -

Oh allo ... what's that up in the sky? My, it's moving rather fast! I wonder what it is...

With greetings, from Liam and Seana

  1. This award is for book bloggers only. To receive this award the blog must be at least 50% about books (reading or writing is okay)
  2. Along with receiving this award, you must also share your top five favorite books you have ever read. (More than five is okay)
  3. You must give this award to 5-10 other lucky book blogs you adore


Wow ... that was heavier than I expected. My poor toe bones are gonna remember that for a while.

Well, I'd best fill it in, I'd say. Especially as it's pointing that phaser at me with the warmest possible expression of threatening apathy...

One problem. I can't possibly list my top ten favouirite-

OKAY OKAY, LOWER YOUR WEAPONS! I'll do my best ... sheesh.

Charley's Top Several Books (that she can think of in quick succession with a phaser aimed between her eyes)

1 - Inkheart, Cornelia Funke
2 - The Three Musketeers, Alexandre Dumas
3 - The Lord of the Rings trilogy, J.R.R. Tolkein
4 - A Song of Ice and Fire series - George R. R. Martin
5 - The Picture of Dorian Grey, Oscar Wilde
8 - the Discworld books, Terry Pratchett
6 - The Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis
7 - Anything and everything by the Romantic poets

Okay, so that's more than five, and some are not, techinically books. Bah. Rules shmules, I do what I want!

What? You want me to take you to my leader? I don't have one. Ha!

Fine ... a few more victims for you, you sadistic phaser-wielding, googly-eyed pests!

But that's all you're getting from me! I know for a fact that there are few people out there who actually appreciate these things. You can have these victims and be done with it, curse you! 

I hope they have the strength to smite you where I did not!

B-But ... no ... no you can't, you can't, please, no no! 



The ever-present rules:  
I must answer ten questions.  I must give ten random facts.  I must pass it on to seven doomed recipients.
What is your favorite song?  It depends what mood I'm in.
What is your favorite dessert?  Give me chocolate or give me death. Or death by chocolate. I like that too.
What ticks you off?  An awful lot of things. I'm a tetchy sort. Some of my worst are poor grammar, plot-related atrocities, bits of marker left behind on a wiped whiteboard, open cupboards at night and moths. Especially moths.
When you’re upset, what do you do?  Crawl off into a corner and cry. Then go and torture the inhabitants of my stories. With evil music playing in the background.
What is your favorite pet?  Something large, fierce and with big teeth. Something I could feed people to ... if you know what I mean, you leering, smirking crusher-of-my-foot!
Which do you prefer: black or white?  Whichever I'm dressed to camouflage in.
What is your attitude?  It was flat, broad-brimmed and a shade of khaki green. He gave it a good chewing before I got it back.
What is perfection?  A word. That means nothing. Because nothing we can ever hope to comprehend is perfect.
What is your guilty pleasure?  I have lots. Like impaling jelly babies on sporks. That's fun.
Alright. Facts up next.
1 - I'm highly allergic to nuts, peanuts and sesame seeds. I am also more than happy to threaten errant Lower Fifth with a poking from my Epi-Pen when they annoy me.
2 - My joints click with nearly every motion. I enjoy moving superfluously in public places to scare people.
3 - I enjoy eating raw celery.
4 - I love my sleep. Who or whatsoever rouses me from my slumber will face a wrath the likes of which they have never known.
5 - I have issues with the number nine. It just irritates me.
6 - I once dyed my hair black for  Christmas party costume. Nearly a year later, the last of the dye still hadn't come out. This was last year.
7 - My name leads to frequent confusion over my gender before people meet me.
8 - I desperately wish I could draw well. It's the one talent I really lament not having.
9 - I've read The Silmarillion. Twice.
10 - Worms give me the heebie jeebies.
Alright, alright. You monsters have what you want. Please, leave me be now. Before my intricate mental designs on your intestines come into fruition.
And no, you know what? I don't want to pass this award onto anyone! If the people I tagged above want a shot at it, they can go ahead and do it. But I don't want anyone else staring down the barrel of a phaser!
Oh, and you may want to look behind you. My backup just arrived...
~ Charley R


  1. Haha! I could not stop laughing while reading this, especially when I got to the part where my name was misspelled. :P That could be my alter ego! o: "Siana" hmm....has a nice ring to it. Sounds almost exactly the same as "Seana", but if I had more of an "i" sound to it, it'll make it quite special indeed. Perhaps I shall make her a future character in an upcoming short story? ^_^

    Now then, raw celery? The thought makes me shudder. For some reason, that stringy green vegetable has never been my favorite, and I still don't like it. It loves to get in my teeth just before I need to do something important like, say, talk to a congressman or get my picture taken. Oh celery, when will you stop with this agony?

    1. Sorry! Bad mis-spellings, I shall fix that. I am naughty xD

      I love celery! Tis nommeh and satisfying in mine maw. And as I no longer wear braces, it doesn't get stuck in my mouth so much, lol. At least it doesn't leave a smell on the breath!

    2. True, true. Doesn't make me like the little green veggie any better though, even if it makes your breath not stink like a certain mushroom and onion stir fry that my dear friend ate this afternoon. I really, really wanted to hand her a breath-mint, but alas, I had none with me. Tragedy indeed.

    3. Eugh. That sounds ... revolting. I don't like stir fry, and I like mushroom even less. Revolting things.

    4. Agreed. Their rubbery texture always makes me gag, and I refuse to choke them down, even if you're holding a plasma beam ray gun to my head and singing Justin Bieber at the top of your lungs trying to take away my last bit of sanity. o_o

    5. Hehe, my sanity is long gone. THough if I were in the situation you just outlined there would be a bloodbath. A very very nasty one xD

  2. I am DEFINITELY the back-up. In the helmet. HELMET BACKUP.

    1. *runs finger along spectacular helmet*

      HELL YEAH.

    2. I feel I need an awesome helmet too now ... hmm ... *goes off to find suitable minion to craft her one*

  3. The Silmarillion! You are now my new... Wait, you were already an awesome friend. Why are you so awesome, Charley?
    I love this post. Absolutely brilliant, since award posts tend to be so much alike.

    1. Heehee, thank you! Another Silmarillion fan? YES! YOU ARE OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE PERSON FOR THE REST OF THE DAY! :D

      Why am I awesome? 'Tis in the blood, I guess. Or those funny mushrooms I ate... hehehe :P

      Thankees. I had lots of fun with this post xD

    2. Yes, the mushrooms 'll do it for you. I ate some about three years ago and the awesomeness hasn't worn off since. Can you tell?

    3. Only a little - one accidental shroom eater to another ;)

    4. Yes, this fungus was cleverly disguised as a small piece of meat at the time. Its disguise did it no good, however, as it was quickly crushed and digested. Poor fungus... Don't blame it for anything, though, 'cause I'm just awesome that way.

    5. Indeed. I hereby declare that this fungus shall be forever remembered as a cause of awesomeness and honoured as such!

    6. ...And then incinerated, because I don't like fungus. We can make it look like an accident, of course, so no suspicions are aroused.

    7. Indeed. Likewise I hate all things fungal xD

    8. Leave mushrooms to Gwillana.

    9. ...You don't know Gwillana. I'm sorry. Chris D'Lacey reference... (So go read the books. Now.)

    10. Yes, sah! *marches off ... in the wrong direction*

  4. Yes...we ALL know the monstrosities of Vogon literature. "His own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilisation, leapt straight up through his throat and throttled his brain" is perhaps my favourite line from the Guide :L :L
    Also: "cleaned" whiteboards with random smudged pen streaks on them...UURRGMMFFGHHUMF is the only word to describe it ~bites fist to contain fury~

    1. I LOVE that line - among many others, haha! "The ship hung in the air in much the same way bricks don't" is a good 'un :P

      YES! So infuriating ... especially in exams when you can't point it out!

  5. *counts in his mind* "One... Two... Three... and a half..." *pause*

    Ha, ha I've got you beat Charley! :P I've read the Silmarillion three and half times!
    And I gotta say, your reaction to blog awards would be my reaction. :) Precisely. So if you ever need back up in the form of a trench-coated, shotgun-slinging, cutter-captain from the Cluster, I'll be there in two clicks. ;)

    1. Alright, alright, showoff! xD

      Haha, I like backup of all sorts. It looks incredibly badass to th third-person observer. Especially when it comes in trenchcoats. I love trenchcoats xD

  6. "Give me chocolate or give me death. Or death by chocolate. I like that too."
    New catchphrase? ;P

    You know, I'm actually reading The Picture of Dorian Grey right now. It occured to me the other day that I know the story... but have never actually READ THE BLOODY BOOK.

    The marks on a whiteboard... bane of everyone's existence... and if you deny it, you're lying! In school I use to hang back after class and clean them off PROPERLY (being the sad person I apparently am) while everyone else went off for their break XD

    1. Totally xD

      Haha, I don't know the story, but I'm enjoying it thus far!

      I still do that. In classrooms where we have whiteboards - thankfully the interactive ones do it themselves xD

  7. White Boards? Whiteboard in Class room? *hangs head in hands* (I feel so old now) *giggles* at least you can clean up the marks with the proper tools, generally. But the Squealing chalk on a blckboard *shudders* and some pieces just squeal no mater what you do... and then there would be the one person who could do it with their fingers nails *more shuddereing*

    Anyway do you leave doodles when you're done cleaning? I liked to leave my Water Girl, down in a little corner. I should draw her and post her on my blog sometime. :}

    1. Ugh, I hate blackboards. Not in the least because they make me sneeze like crazy. And don't talk to me about fingernails ... oh gods no ....

      No, I'm afraid I don't - though I did once draw a little face in the corner to scare my English teacher, haha!