Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Romancing the Biscuits

Let's face it - there are some pretty horrendous romance books out there. Not that there aren't other brands of eye-gouging material among other genres, but the romance genre seems to be the one where it sticks out the most - or, at least, gets the most publicity (the Fifty Shades of Grey furore, anyone?)

Add in two spoonfuls of the supernatural, a sprinkling of high-school politics, and six hundred barrels of teenage angst, and it's a recipe for a disaster so flammable it could power every home in Belgium for twenty nine and a half years, give or take a gas leak.

Which is exactly why people like the wonderful creator of the Awful Teen Paranormal Romance MadLib exist.

I have had WAY too much fun with this in the past, both in trying to maximise ickyness, subvert it, or any other combination of the two. 

It is far more entertaining than you might give it credit for.  Especially when I indulged my most childish impulse for at least three hours and filled in all the boxes with "biscuits".

Take a look at these beauties:

She noticed it the very first time she laid eyes on him - there was something about the way he biscuits biscuits his biscuits when he biscuits. Also, he seemed to have an unusual knowledge about biscuits. 

And then he kissed her. His kisses were like biscuits-scented biscuits upon her lips.

The days and weeks that followed were biscuits. They biscuits, biscuits, and biscuits. It seemed that nothing could come between them.

The leader lunged forward, but biscuits stood his ground. With a biscuits, he met the leader head-on. In a swift move, biscuits ripped off the leader's biscuits and kicked him in the biscuits. 

biscuits biscuits biscuits's biscuits, allowing his very essence to flow into her body. She sighed, then biscuits.

Soon, the transformation was complete. biscuits was now biscuits biscuits, just like biscuits. Everything truly was perfect.

Try it for yourself! And feel free to leave your favourite sentences in the comments for us all to laugh and point at.

~ Charley R


  1. That thing is amazing! I love your biscuits example.

    1. Hee hee, thank you! I trust you've been enjoying yourself with it too?

    2. I have been, but nothing trumps your biscuits version. Did you just put biscuits for everything, or "a biscuit" and "biscuited" when it asked for it?

    3. No, just the word "biscuits". Because I was bored and sleep deprived and wanted to see what would happen, hee hee!

  2. My sister, mom and I were all sitting around the table and we put one together...then I read it aloud and we were laughing so hard I almost cried! Here are some of the funniest lines we ended up with:

    "His kisses were like [a] cabbage-scented bunny upon her lips."

    "She noticed it the very first time she laid eyes on him - there was something about the way he supposedly vomited his ear when he clicked."

    "In a swift move, Jeff ripped off the leader's bellybutton and kicked him in the nostril.

    Also, the biscuits example? Hilarious. ;)

    1. *curls up on the floor to wheeze in mirth*

      Those are spectacular! How did you manage that second one, it's just . . . it's so ludicrously wonderful, I love it!

  3. I completely don't have time to do this ... but I'm going to anyway! Yaaaaay! XD XD