Charley In Places She (Probably) Shouldn't Be

Hello, hello, hello!

As the old saying goes,  all good things must come to an end. And so it is with holidays. This time next week, I shall be re-encamped in my halls to face one final term before the appearance of summer, and a whole new reading list to devour within it.

However, that doesn't mean I can't gift you all with one more load of pictures of me in silly places before I go to re-entrench myself behind my books.

 First of all, let's play a game.

I like to call it "Where's Charley"?

The picture on the left was taken from approximately 20-30ft below my platform. The picture on the right is me, on the platform.

First to spot me gets a virtual cookie and a hug.

High wiring is something one will either love, hate, or flee from at the sound of the very prospect. My pity continues to extend to all the poor parents of small children in the first category, whose own sympathies lay somewhat more in the third. Luckily for us, the day's cold and damp weather meant that most of the runs were devoid of all but ourselves, leaving plenty of room for hanging, banging, and extremely undignified dangling all round.

You may remember me saying, however, that this was projected as a skiing holiday. Sadly, one always runs a bit of a gauntlet when it comes to skiing so late in the year, and so it came about that the lower halves of all but the highest mountain resort were so devoid of snow that alternate activities - such as exhibited above - were put on.

Luckily for me, my family and I were more than happy to clamber up and risk skiing in icing sugar and porridge (trust me, the comparison is almost as literal as it sounds) for the sake of stretching out the old muscles and putting our poles - and helmets - to use.

Our first day on the slopes wasn't too bad - the temperature was high, which meant there was no nose-numbing wind chill to be braved, and our lunch could be spent outside on a patio, enjoying some Austrian folk music as we munched on our snaffled sandwiches and repentantly purchased 'frites mit ketchup unt mayo'.

Some beneficient deity evidently approved of this, as our second and third days on the slopes saw a dusting of powder come down. The pistes were a little too far beyond saving at this point, but with a little adventurous spirit we took to the powdery domains as yet untouched by piste basher, and had a marvellous time of it.

I even managed to trip over a shrub, and fulfil my obligatory criteria of Amusing Crashes for the day.



Ah, but where there is snow, there is also water. Lots and lots of water. Very pretty water, clear and blue as the greatest work of any Photoshop artist, the pristine mirror surface broken only by the trailing leaves of willow trees and the shy flutterings of young minnow beneath the surface.

It was also, as I'm sure you'll be delighted to know, colder than the heart of the infernal imp who tangles your headphones in your pocket, and breaks your can-opener midway through a can of tuna.

But, there is no cold backside or partially frozen kneecap that can dull the joy of lurching to one's feet and skidding like a hyperactive monitor lizard across a beautiful Bavarian mountain lake. The scientific proof of that is present in the look of utter glee you can see on my face to the right.

Or, rather, the look you would see if my helmet hadn't been a size too big, and prevented me from seeing much save the glorious clear sky, and the sudden uprush of glacier-cold water as my skis took wayward detours without the consent of my feet.

Here we go.

There's no proof like a picture, they say. Fortunately, the inconstant settings of my mother's camera ensured there were several snaps of each frame of movement, and thus innumerable pieces of proof to my previous testament.

Oh, but this isn't one of them. This is just me letting go of the line to get off the lake.

Honest!


And this concludes my second consecutive week in pictures! I can safely say I have had an awful lot of fun, and will be a little sorry to return to the far less exciting day to days of university life.

Luckily, this return to a slightly more schedule-based existence means I will be clambering back onto the wagon of regular posting, as well as putting into action some of the proposed plans I mentioned obliquely a few weeks ago. Not that I expect you to remember them.

No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Ahem. Sorry. I'll show myself out. Until next week, my friends!

~ Charley R

Adventures In Berlin

For once, Easter holidays have actually lived up to the second half of that name. After three years of spending these three weeks of supposed freedom chained to a desk full of revision with thrall-like wails, cries and dejected snufflings in the servitude of GCSE, AS and A2 level exams, I've finally caught a bit of a break. Say one thing for your first year of university - at least they're aware that a few months aren't quite enough for someone to completely readjust their academic mindset enough to start contributing toward a degree.

So, if not tied to a desk, where have I been?

The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind.

Or, more accurately, clattering about Germany wondering if she remembered to pack her hairbrush this time.

Say one thing for big cities - they are excellent places for adventures. My first was on the train, where I found myself in the company of a very nice (but very confused) Arab gentleman who shared my deficit of German ... but also, sadly, a deficit of English. Luckily, we were speedily joined by a Nigerian gentleman who spoke not only English and Arabic, but German too. Between the three of us, we not only managed to make it onto the correct train, but also commandeered a very comfy set of seats in 2nd Class. Mostly because there wasn't any space anywhere else on the train.

Berlin itself, I must say, is a lovely city. I was happily encamped on the sofa of some uni friends, who took me out to see bits and pieces of the city between the rainstorms. Of which there were a lot. So, sadly, this post shall be a bit of a dearth of pictures. Luckily, each one of the few I have comes with another little adventure story.

 This, my friends, is the Brandenburg gate. This is also the point where I discovered that the German word for 'pancake' does not exist.

Why? Because they have multiple potential words for pancake, all of them context dependant, and most of them absurd enough to bend an English-speaker's brain over backwards in several directions.

It is also here that I learned that the city of Bielefeld does not exist, according to most city-centric German landlines.

This lovely structure, meanwhile, is part of the German parliamentary network. Rather puts 10 Downing Street to shame, eh?

We planned to cross the road and take a look at some of the older buildings further down, but there was a rather forceful-looking police barricade in the way at the time.

Our attempts at circumnavigating the streets to get around it ended up with us in a flea market, purchasing possibly the most awesome t-shirts known to man.

Finally, we come to an unexpectedly artsy shop over the new Jewish memorial, with guest appearances by the American embassy and another German parliamentary building.

The fun fact about this structure is that the main part of it is underground - and features a huge information centre, exhibits, and all manner of soul-crushing things within.

The upper bit, however, sufficed perfectly well as a bamboozling optical illustion that ended with a terrifying disoriented collision with a local tour group.

There were, of course, a great many other adventures that were had - like the unexpected visit of the police to the flat, after a well-meaning neighbour wondered if we'd left the door unlocked or if an intruder had gotten in, a night spent in competition for the high score of a limited edition Lord Of The Rings pinball machine, and lots more linguistic discussions that ended in me trying to bribe my German friends to steal the word 'matchbox' from the English in a desperate attempt to spare my sanity from processing the absolute monster of a word they have for the blasted thing.

I bribed them with Jammy Dodgers - and I darned nearly convinced them, too!

Well then, now that you've had some snapshots of where I've been, I feel it is only fair to update you on where I am right now.

Bavaria, on the Alps. A beautiful, beautiful place - so beautiful, in fact, that one doesn't tend to mind when the snow for skiing does not appear in as great a quantity as one might wish for. Not that we haven't made an attempt today, nonetheless. So far, I have also climbed trees, jumped out of trees, and  made lots of bad puns concerning trees, and later in the week look to be indulging in a spot of waterskiing, and maybe even some hiking if the weather holds out.

I shall, of course, endeavour to procure some pictures of that, too. If the rain stops.

I'm sensing a pattern here.

~ Charley R

Packing!

Let's play a fun game called "let's see how many things Charley can pull out and shunt into boxes in the space of half an hour".

I'm not usually a very messy person, but when it comes to packing up my room at the end of term . . . well. Even my vain attempts to organise it by putting things in piles doesn't really help the general effect of chaos.

I'd take a picture of my bed, too, but I can't zoom the camera out far enough to give you a full indication of its occupation by the forces of Things I Own.

And the best part? This isn't even the majority of my work, yet.

Admittedly, this is a lot easier than in previous years, when I've had to take down absolutely everything because we alternated rooms every term, but my capacity for mess-making is still very much in play.

Still, as long as I can clear the bed so I can sleep in it - what little sleep I'll get after tomorrow night's Christmas party - then I shall contain the screaming ball of Clean Freak until I can wrestle all my things into the back of a car to drive home on Saturday.

All the way through Europe. Which, I am informed, involves snow. What fun.

Nevertheless, I shall be back with you all on Tuesday with lots of new and exciting things - more vlogs, possibly, definitely more book reviews, Writerly Tips and festive bouncings galore!

See you all then!

~ Charley R

School's Out!

For Liam. Because I promised.

No more lessons, no more books, 

No more teachers' dirty looks!

Schooooooooooool's out for summer!

Schooooooooooool's out. For. EVER!

Well, not quite, but you get my drift. As you read this post, I will be wiping the last of the ink-stains off my hands, shunting the scrawl-covered paper into the hands of the examiner and readying myself for a Braveheart-style sprint out of the door, waving my hands over my head and screaming like a lunatic.

I will then go home, eat copious amounts of food, and curl up in bed feeling incredibly pleased with myself.

The perks of being a Humanities student really pay off when your exams finish just over a week before everyone else's.

And, of course, as I have this extended half term holiday available, I will be back to my regular posting schedule. I've got a few more "Charley R's Writerly Guides" ideas lined up, as well as the possibilities of extracts, the fabled reviews mentioned in my talking blog, and a planned cover reveal of St Mallory's Forever! - the much-neglected book that, I promise, will be finished very soon, and whose website you can find in the "Links 'R Us" tab at the top of the blog.

Oh, and did I mention driving lessons? Now that I'm finally old enough and (supposedly) well co-ordinated enough, I am now entitled to tutelage that will allow me to legally wield a flying metal death box!

My excitement knows no bounds. Much like my sense of straight lines.

- Charley R

Charley's Spectacular Skiing eScapades! - With Piccies!

Hallo everyone!
Long time no see, eh? Well, I'm glad to say the reason for my absence is a lot more exciting than usual this time. Rather than the normal "I'm overworked" or "I'm having a hard time" or "I've been abducted by giant green aliens who are interrogating me as to the whereabouts of the world's largest store of jelly babies", I was, for once, doing something very exciting.

I was on a skiing holiday in France! Termignon, Val Cenis, to be exact.

I won't bore you with a blow-by-blow account, but I can tell you that it was terrific fun. I haven't been skiing for years, and I'm happy to say it didn't take long to remember the knack of it. Unfortunately, I also regained my talent for spectacular crashes. "Le crashing rosbif" was my nickname amongst the locals, many of whom knew me by name by the end of my visit (such was my fame, haha!)

This piccie here was taken at the base of a 4-and-a-half foot jump at the edge of one of the "green" learner slopes. Typical of my brother (the dude in black just above me) to find something to vault off! Being the brave  *cough*stupid*cough* creature that I am, I went first .... this isn't my actual landing position, but can you see those skid marks near me? Those are the lovely imprints of the spread-eagled imprint I left in the snow. My mother says she wishes she had a picture .... Heh heh heh.

My cousin (one of the two we were skiing with) said to me: "Charley, no offence, but you look like you're about to rob a bank." I don't know whether that's a compliment of my sinister-ness, or a worrying thing to say for a nine year old .... either way, here I am ready to head off down the slope!

It may interest you to know that, about half an hour after this picture was taken, one of my skis was embedded in the mountainside, while I was face-down in the snow about fifty meters below, being gaped at by some very confused Frenchmen.

I did other things besides crash, though (although it must be said that was probably my main activity). In lieu of my upcoming GCSE exams, I did actually manage to make myself sit down in the afternoons and do some proper work. Six Maths papers, two Physics papers and three pages of memorised Latin set-text over the course of six days ... not bad eh?

I believe I may also have eaten my entire weight in strawberry-jam-smothered croissants. When in France ....

Anyway, back to the daily grind! Got to prepare for my Duke of Edinburgh practice expedition on Sunday. Two full days walking (about 16k per day) and a night with temperatures that promise to drop as low as -2 degrees C .... fun fun funs.

Ciao,
~Charley R

P.S. Yes yes, I know my title doesn't alliterate properly ... I get points for trying, right?