Hiya readers! Sorry about the late post today, I've been having a little trouble wit-
*gjekgjjwjgnJIREHJEGOGJjg84838huerotiwjkb!bnweoonboe*
Ah. So this is what she was doing. I HAD NO IDEA - oh, so that's what that button does - she was so obsessive about that timetable of hers. How intriguing.
Apologies for the mess on the keyboard - a rather inavoidable consequence of having an angry ball of biting author on your hands. Still, hopefully she won't be around to cause another disturbance for a while. A swift saucepan-to-the-head and rapid disposal in the Plot Bunny Hole ought to keep her occupied for a looooong while yet.
But enough about that - I'd better get this message out quickly, so that I can run for my life and bury myself in a very very deep hole. No matter how long she's out for, there'll be hell to pay when she wakes up.
I can't give you my name - because that would be exceedingly stupid given what I've just told you - but I can tell you this, readers. Charley Robson is evil. And I don't mean that lightly. I'm not talking about her cute little references to painful plot twists, her love for villainous characters and her sickeningly cute references to plans for World Domination. I'm talking the sort of evil that enjoys destroying life, limb and sanity. On a regular basis. When she's bored.
I'm here to make a little plea to you, readers. You might laugh at me, but I speak with every scrap of honesty I can muster. We need your help. There's not much more we can take of this - she's killing us all one by one, laughing at our demise and thinking how best she can inflict our misery on your emotions.
In 2010, during that accursed National Novel Writing Month, she brought about a holocaust that resulted in a totalitarian cybornetic governemnt. The last human survivors were driven underground and subjected to appauling sanitary conditions, constant hunger, little in the way of medical supplies and the constant fear of being found out and subjected to a process so horrific I can't even bear to write it here. The results of the story involved countless deaths, and such mental anguish that a former soldier was driven to a form of homicidal insanity and, eventually, suicide.
But this isn't all. Later, in mid 2011, the daemonic monstrosity started up a civil war in a country already engaged in an age-old conflict with its neighbour. A clan whose ancestry reached back to the very first kings of the realm was nearly destroyed, and over the border mass killings were taking place on the orders of a grief-crazed tyrant king. This was the third book in a trilogy that resulted in all lead characters requiring extensive therapy and counselling sessions. One of them still holds an abiding fear of goats as a result of what he went through.
I could go on. I could tell you about the young man whose demented parents utilised the blackets of magics to transform him into an ungodly half-beast to further their designs on world domination, near destroying his sanity. I could tell you about the entire race she forced to wander in eternal deathlessness, haunting their last surviving kinsman as he struggles daily to face his own existence in light of the death of all he knew. I could tell you about the man she forced to endure a gruelling quest, chasing a prophecy he didn't understand ... after she'd killed him off in the first chapter.
Please. What we ask of you is not much. It's nothing you'll have to risk your life for - unlike me, writing this post. There are noises behind me, but I daren't stop typing. I had to tell you. I had to. For the sake of myself and my companions.
You can save us. You can get us out of this living nightmare, and all you have to do is -
What's that noise?
I thought you said we'd ... what do you mean she ...
OH GODS NO!
*grngwjejfkjghio_jjrjiofwoifoGIWJEBJJIDJJGJKbinee*
GET BACK IN THERE YOU LITTLE WRETCH!
Sorry about that readers. Now, where were we...
- Charley R
Showing posts with label just for fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label just for fun. Show all posts
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
Saturday, 29 October 2011
Beautiful People - Challenge Charley!
... Please tell me I'm not infringing copyright with that title!
Yes, I'm still here! I swear to you all, lovely readers, I will explain my absence in a later post - I'm a bit pressed for time right now.
Let's have some fun first. The blog Further Up and Further In has set a wonderful little challenge to all NaNo-ers and, as I'm competing this year, I've decided to join in. (read this post for the full scoop of what I'm up to, but overall it seems to result in asking lots of fun questions about your characters to help you thrash them out)
In the meantime ... here we go!
March 2011
What is their full name? Vidal Crossblood
Does his or her name have a special meaning? "Vidal" means "spite", but that was a joke on the part of the nasty woman who decided to raise the little git. Hardly hints at a grand destiny, does it?
Does your character have a methodical or disorganized personality? Scarily methodical.
Does he or she think inside themselves more than they talk out loud to their friends? (more importantly, does he or she actually have friends?) The words coming out of his mouth are always near opposites of what he says in his head. He does have friends, though they are an exceedingly small number. And I doubt you'd consider his treatment of them very friendly.
Is there something he or she is afraid of? Losing. In any sense of the word.
Does he or she write, dream, dance, sing, or photograph? He sings very rude songs when the mood takes him, but not really. As for dreaming ... I really don't want to think what goes on in his head sometimes.
What is his or her favorite book? (or genre of books) He can't read!
Who is his or her favorite author and/or someone that inspires him or her? Nobody. The only inspiration he gets from others is reasons to stab them.
Favorite flavor of ice cream? He has no idea what ice-cream is (it doesn't exist in this world), but if he did, I suspect he'd be a mint sort of guy.
Favorite season of the year? Anything but a hot summer. His people don't cope well in hot weather - they're not built for it.
April 2011
How old is he/she? Nearing 140 I think. For his kind, he's nearing middle-age.
What does he/she do with his/her spare time? Plots.
Does he/she see the big picture or live in the moment? He's the scary sort of person who can do both, but his actions aim more for long-term results.
Is he/she a perfectionist? Not really.
What does her handwriting look like? (round, slanted, curly, skinny, sloppy, neat, decorative, etc.) He doesn't' write, but if he did, it would probably look like something written by an epileptic spider.
Favorite animal? Anything that won't maim him painfully when he tries to eat it.
Does he/she have any pets? Nope.
Does he/she have any siblings? How many? Where does he/she fit in? No siblings.
Does he/she have a 'life verse' and if so what is it? ... I don't know what a "life verse" is. I wrote a poem about him though!
Favorite writing utensil? As I said, he doesn't write.
May 2011
What type of laugh does he/she have? He has a variety for different situations
Who is his/her best friend? Probably a fellow named Caiafal Greysong, though how Caiafal puts up with him I have no idea.
What is his/her family like? His mother died giving birth to him, her family hate his guts, and he has absolutely no idea who his father is, and he doesn't give a toss either. Lovely eh?
Is he/she a Christian, or will he/she eventually find Jesus? They don't have Christianity in my world.
Does he/she believe in fairies? They exist in his world! Vidal's none too keen on them.
Does he/she like hedgehogs? They get stuck in his teeth too much.
Favorite kind of weather? Dark, misty and lots of places to hide and jump out at people.
Does he/she have a good sense of humor? If so what kind? (Slapstick, wit, sarcasm, etc.?) He does indeed, though he's a high-brow, wit and wordplay sort of person.
How did he/she do in school, or any kind of education they might have had. Never had any. Probably would have bunked out if he did. He learns by experience (and raiding any books he considers remotely interesting. Damn his creepy photographic memory)
Any strange hobbies? You mean, aside from plotting? Not really.
June 2011
What kind of music does he/she like? He doesn't give a fig.
Does he/she like to go outside? All his kind do - he practically lives outside.
Is he/she naturally curious? To a certain extent
Right, or left handed? Ambidextrous, though he's naturally right-handed. He taught himself to use both hands in his boyhood.
Favorite color? Subtle colours. Good for creeping up on people
Where is he/she from? The great mountain city of Tanelorn, ancestral seat of the Vanyar bloodlines in Syracethra.
Any enemies? Pretty much everybody in the story, really.
What are his/her quirks? He likes to eat fish head-first, starting with the eyeballs. He's always wanted to learn the flute, but the noises they make scare the heck out of him. That, and he'll often narrate his thoughts to himself in third person, just for his own amusement.
What kinds of things get on his/her nerves? People, and almost everything to do with them.
Is he/she independent, or needs others to help out? He doesn't trust anyone, so he does almost everything himself, where possible.
July 2011
What is his/her biggest secret? That he does have feelings. And he's very very lonely.
Has he/she ever been in love? Not yet *cackles*
What is his/her comfort food? Small animals that he can disembowel to make himself feel better about whatever has peeved him.
Does he/she play a musical instrument? If so, what? Absolutely nothing.
What colour are his/her eyes? Left eye is a very dark brown, with a tiny rim of red between pupil and iris. His right eye is a very pale grey (the mismatchedness is a result of his crossblood heritage)
Hair? It's brown. No wait, it's black. No, brown ... no hang on, it's black! (Nobody can actually tell which it is!)
Does he/she have any pets? None.
What is his/her favorite place to be? Lurking. You hear all sorts of wonderful things when you lurk.
What are some of his/her dreams or goals? He wants a future, and to drag his name out of the dirt.
Does he/she enjoy sports? Depends what sort of sport. Most of the time he just likes to sit back and watch the others make fools of themselves and laugh himself silly.
What is his/her favorite flower or plant? .... You should see the funny looks he's giving me at that question.
August 2011
What is their biggest accomplishment? Staying alive? Oh, and orchestrating a civil war, manipulating hundreds of people and avoiding getting found out.
What is one of their strongest childhood memories? He's done his best to forget most of his childhood. It sucked.
What is their favorite food? Fish. Raw and wriggling.
Do they believe in love at first sight? He'd choke laughing if you asked him that.
What kind of home do they live in? He lives in the attic of a rich friend of his. Until then ... probably in the bottom of a very dark hole, I have no idea.
What do they like to wear? He always wears dark colours, but he's happiest in his black armour, complete with cunningly placed spiky bits.
What would they do if they discovered they were dying? Get peeved and kill whoever put him there, then trick someone into saving his life.
What kind of holidays, or traditions do they celebrate? He'll take any excuse to get drunk off his head. Provided nobody's going to try and kill him in the process...
What do your other characters have to say about them?
Ambrais Mistlord (his uncle): Pure evil.
Falladan Greysong (plotting nobleman): Merciless git. Just the sort of man I need...
Yallar Fairwind (particularly thick nobleman): Intelligent, but not very nice to me at all!
Selfrae Noonlight (wussy nobleman): Someone kill him before he gets us!
Arundel (Rhydel leader): Treacherous to the core. Not a moral bone in him. My best agent.
Caiafal Greysong ("best friend"): Well, he's vindictive, and he's not terribly nice to anyone. He's never offered anyone a scrap of sympathy, he'll trick you for his own amusement and laugh in your face when things go wrong ... but he's not that bad! He does have a heart in there somewhere ... I hope.
If they could change one thing in their world, what would it be? To be legally allowed to murder everyone who gets on his nerves.
September 2011
Do they have any habits, annoying or otherwise? He tries not to develop any, in case his enemies work them out.
What is their backstory and how does it affect them now? Born to the daughter of one of the most powerful Vanyar families, he was dumped in the arms of a sour old priestess while his family hushed up his existence. He's the world's first Vanyar-Rhydel hybrid, and he sticks out like a sore thumb. He's hated and mistrusted by everyone (and rightly so - he's a bastard by nature as much as by name). But all this hasn't changed his ambitions - in fact, it's only heightened them.
How do they show love? By not killing you.
How competitive are they? Extremely.
What do they think about when nothing else is going on? Everything that's going on around him, and how he can twist it all to his advantage.
Do they have an accent? I don't think so.
What is their station in life? Reluctantly made a member of the ruling Twelve, but apart from that he seems to do as he pleases.
What do others expect from them? That he'll turn around and kill them whenever he gets the chance.
Where were they born, and when? Born in midwinter, in Tanelorn.
How do they feel about people in general? He doesn't trust them as far as he can throw them. He tends to presume people already hate him before they meet him.
And, last but not least, this month's:
Sum up your novel in five words or less. As I'm not doing one "novel" per se, I'll go with: saga, epic, exciting, fantasy and hilarious (I hope...)
Novel title? "The Thirteenth Line"
Sum up your main character(s) in one word each. There's a lot of them, but I'll pick a few from the first story in the pack: Vidal - cunning. Caiafal - noble. Falladan Greysong - power-monger. Arystel - rebellious. Arundel - cold.
Advice for newbies in three words? GO FOR IT!
Tell us about your secondary characters, how do they affect the story? They're all part and parcel of the story. A lot of them end up manipulating or being manipulated by my delightful assortment of hits
Do you plan to stay up till midnight on the 31st? Probably!
How many years have you done NaNo? This is my second year.
What came first, characters, or plot idea? Characters. They have a habit of waltzing into my head and demanding my attention.
How much prep do you do before November? Not much - though I should probably try and thrash out a bit more of everyone's story so I don't end up repeating myself.
Now be honest, how do you really feel about NaNo? Excited like mad, but also utterly terrified by the prospect of having too much work and having to bunk out.
What is their full name? Vidal Crossblood
Does his or her name have a special meaning? "Vidal" means "spite", but that was a joke on the part of the nasty woman who decided to raise the little git. Hardly hints at a grand destiny, does it?
Does your character have a methodical or disorganized personality? Scarily methodical.
Does he or she think inside themselves more than they talk out loud to their friends? (more importantly, does he or she actually have friends?) The words coming out of his mouth are always near opposites of what he says in his head. He does have friends, though they are an exceedingly small number. And I doubt you'd consider his treatment of them very friendly.
Is there something he or she is afraid of? Losing. In any sense of the word.
Does he or she write, dream, dance, sing, or photograph? He sings very rude songs when the mood takes him, but not really. As for dreaming ... I really don't want to think what goes on in his head sometimes.
What is his or her favorite book? (or genre of books) He can't read!
Who is his or her favorite author and/or someone that inspires him or her? Nobody. The only inspiration he gets from others is reasons to stab them.
Favorite flavor of ice cream? He has no idea what ice-cream is (it doesn't exist in this world), but if he did, I suspect he'd be a mint sort of guy.
Favorite season of the year? Anything but a hot summer. His people don't cope well in hot weather - they're not built for it.
April 2011
How old is he/she? Nearing 140 I think. For his kind, he's nearing middle-age.
What does he/she do with his/her spare time? Plots.
Does he/she see the big picture or live in the moment? He's the scary sort of person who can do both, but his actions aim more for long-term results.
Is he/she a perfectionist? Not really.
What does her handwriting look like? (round, slanted, curly, skinny, sloppy, neat, decorative, etc.) He doesn't' write, but if he did, it would probably look like something written by an epileptic spider.
Favorite animal? Anything that won't maim him painfully when he tries to eat it.
Does he/she have any pets? Nope.
Does he/she have any siblings? How many? Where does he/she fit in? No siblings.
Does he/she have a 'life verse' and if so what is it? ... I don't know what a "life verse" is. I wrote a poem about him though!
Favorite writing utensil? As I said, he doesn't write.
May 2011
What type of laugh does he/she have? He has a variety for different situations
Who is his/her best friend? Probably a fellow named Caiafal Greysong, though how Caiafal puts up with him I have no idea.
What is his/her family like? His mother died giving birth to him, her family hate his guts, and he has absolutely no idea who his father is, and he doesn't give a toss either. Lovely eh?
Is he/she a Christian, or will he/she eventually find Jesus? They don't have Christianity in my world.
Does he/she believe in fairies? They exist in his world! Vidal's none too keen on them.
Does he/she like hedgehogs? They get stuck in his teeth too much.
Favorite kind of weather? Dark, misty and lots of places to hide and jump out at people.
Does he/she have a good sense of humor? If so what kind? (Slapstick, wit, sarcasm, etc.?) He does indeed, though he's a high-brow, wit and wordplay sort of person.
How did he/she do in school, or any kind of education they might have had. Never had any. Probably would have bunked out if he did. He learns by experience (and raiding any books he considers remotely interesting. Damn his creepy photographic memory)
Any strange hobbies? You mean, aside from plotting? Not really.
June 2011
What kind of music does he/she like? He doesn't give a fig.
Does he/she like to go outside? All his kind do - he practically lives outside.
Is he/she naturally curious? To a certain extent
Right, or left handed? Ambidextrous, though he's naturally right-handed. He taught himself to use both hands in his boyhood.
Favorite color? Subtle colours. Good for creeping up on people
Where is he/she from? The great mountain city of Tanelorn, ancestral seat of the Vanyar bloodlines in Syracethra.
Any enemies? Pretty much everybody in the story, really.
What are his/her quirks? He likes to eat fish head-first, starting with the eyeballs. He's always wanted to learn the flute, but the noises they make scare the heck out of him. That, and he'll often narrate his thoughts to himself in third person, just for his own amusement.
What kinds of things get on his/her nerves? People, and almost everything to do with them.
Is he/she independent, or needs others to help out? He doesn't trust anyone, so he does almost everything himself, where possible.
July 2011
What is his/her biggest secret? That he does have feelings. And he's very very lonely.
Has he/she ever been in love? Not yet *cackles*
What is his/her comfort food? Small animals that he can disembowel to make himself feel better about whatever has peeved him.
Does he/she play a musical instrument? If so, what? Absolutely nothing.
What colour are his/her eyes? Left eye is a very dark brown, with a tiny rim of red between pupil and iris. His right eye is a very pale grey (the mismatchedness is a result of his crossblood heritage)
Hair? It's brown. No wait, it's black. No, brown ... no hang on, it's black! (Nobody can actually tell which it is!)
Does he/she have any pets? None.
What is his/her favorite place to be? Lurking. You hear all sorts of wonderful things when you lurk.
What are some of his/her dreams or goals? He wants a future, and to drag his name out of the dirt.
Does he/she enjoy sports? Depends what sort of sport. Most of the time he just likes to sit back and watch the others make fools of themselves and laugh himself silly.
What is his/her favorite flower or plant? .... You should see the funny looks he's giving me at that question.
August 2011
What is their biggest accomplishment? Staying alive? Oh, and orchestrating a civil war, manipulating hundreds of people and avoiding getting found out.
What is one of their strongest childhood memories? He's done his best to forget most of his childhood. It sucked.
What is their favorite food? Fish. Raw and wriggling.
Do they believe in love at first sight? He'd choke laughing if you asked him that.
What kind of home do they live in? He lives in the attic of a rich friend of his. Until then ... probably in the bottom of a very dark hole, I have no idea.
What do they like to wear? He always wears dark colours, but he's happiest in his black armour, complete with cunningly placed spiky bits.
What would they do if they discovered they were dying? Get peeved and kill whoever put him there, then trick someone into saving his life.
What kind of holidays, or traditions do they celebrate? He'll take any excuse to get drunk off his head. Provided nobody's going to try and kill him in the process...
What do your other characters have to say about them?
Ambrais Mistlord (his uncle): Pure evil.
Falladan Greysong (plotting nobleman): Merciless git. Just the sort of man I need...
Yallar Fairwind (particularly thick nobleman): Intelligent, but not very nice to me at all!
Selfrae Noonlight (wussy nobleman): Someone kill him before he gets us!
Arundel (Rhydel leader): Treacherous to the core. Not a moral bone in him. My best agent.
Caiafal Greysong ("best friend"): Well, he's vindictive, and he's not terribly nice to anyone. He's never offered anyone a scrap of sympathy, he'll trick you for his own amusement and laugh in your face when things go wrong ... but he's not that bad! He does have a heart in there somewhere ... I hope.
If they could change one thing in their world, what would it be? To be legally allowed to murder everyone who gets on his nerves.
September 2011
Do they have any habits, annoying or otherwise? He tries not to develop any, in case his enemies work them out.
What is their backstory and how does it affect them now? Born to the daughter of one of the most powerful Vanyar families, he was dumped in the arms of a sour old priestess while his family hushed up his existence. He's the world's first Vanyar-Rhydel hybrid, and he sticks out like a sore thumb. He's hated and mistrusted by everyone (and rightly so - he's a bastard by nature as much as by name). But all this hasn't changed his ambitions - in fact, it's only heightened them.
How do they show love? By not killing you.
How competitive are they? Extremely.
What do they think about when nothing else is going on? Everything that's going on around him, and how he can twist it all to his advantage.
Do they have an accent? I don't think so.
What is their station in life? Reluctantly made a member of the ruling Twelve, but apart from that he seems to do as he pleases.
What do others expect from them? That he'll turn around and kill them whenever he gets the chance.
Where were they born, and when? Born in midwinter, in Tanelorn.
How do they feel about people in general? He doesn't trust them as far as he can throw them. He tends to presume people already hate him before they meet him.
And, last but not least, this month's:
Sum up your novel in five words or less. As I'm not doing one "novel" per se, I'll go with: saga, epic, exciting, fantasy and hilarious (I hope...)
Novel title? "The Thirteenth Line"
Sum up your main character(s) in one word each. There's a lot of them, but I'll pick a few from the first story in the pack: Vidal - cunning. Caiafal - noble. Falladan Greysong - power-monger. Arystel - rebellious. Arundel - cold.
Advice for newbies in three words? GO FOR IT!
Tell us about your secondary characters, how do they affect the story? They're all part and parcel of the story. A lot of them end up manipulating or being manipulated by my delightful assortment of hits
Do you plan to stay up till midnight on the 31st? Probably!
How many years have you done NaNo? This is my second year.
What came first, characters, or plot idea? Characters. They have a habit of waltzing into my head and demanding my attention.
How much prep do you do before November? Not much - though I should probably try and thrash out a bit more of everyone's story so I don't end up repeating myself.
Now be honest, how do you really feel about NaNo? Excited like mad, but also utterly terrified by the prospect of having too much work and having to bunk out.
Thursday, 17 February 2011
"Paper Things" - a poem
Before you ask, yes, I do have confidence issues xD
Paper Things
I have a little heart
Full of tiny paper things.
With their tiny paper bodies
And their tiny paper wings.
Full of tiny paper things.
With their tiny paper bodies
And their tiny paper wings.
On their little sides I write them
My tiny little notes
My fantasies and dreamings,,
All my tiny little hopes.
My tiny little notes
My fantasies and dreamings,,
All my tiny little hopes.
I hold them close and tightly,
For I do not want to see
What the light of day would do to them
If I should set them free.
For I do not want to see
What the light of day would do to them
If I should set them free.
But I’m hoping for a moment,
Any place or time will do,
When I’ll face the daunting task
And share my dreams with you.
Any place or time will do,
When I’ll face the daunting task
And share my dreams with you.
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