Saturday 17 March 2012

Liar, Liar...

Heyoo everyone!
Saturday is my favourite day of the week (how original!). Seriously, not only do I only have one lesson - English, which happens to be my favourite, but, for the first time in five days, I actually have time to do something other than scribble furiously on horrible school essays!

Like scribble furiously at my own stories, bahaha!

Anyway, what I chose to work on today was one of the stories from my 2011 NaNoWriMo project, the Thirteenth Line, and the lead character for this particular tale, The Choice, is Vidal, whom you may remember from this post and whose backstory is explained in Stormlord's Song, as it is called in later years by his people. His story's a complicated one - not in the least because he's probably rather a lot brighter than I am, and a lot more apathetic with it. But, on the whole, he's really quite good fun to write - not in the least because he can say pretty much whatever the heck he wants, and get away with it because everybody's too scared of him to try anything else!

Unfortunately, Vidal does have one little chink in his armour - he lies. And I don't just mean pointing the finger at someone else when the cookies mysteriously vanish from out of the jar, I mean whopping great monstrosities that could probably take up most of the rooms in an oil tanker and sink it like a stone. His lies are his shield against his true vulnerability, and he's made sure they're convincing enough to convince everyone.

Almost everyone.

Enter Falladan Greysong, one of the most powerful family patriarchs in Tanelorn. Cunning, opportunistic and politically invincible, he's not the type to let an illegitimate half-breed get above his station. Especially when Falladan himself put him in that station.

Needless to say, events took a nasty turn for Vidal...


“You’ve underestimated every one of them, and if they so much as get a sniff of what you’ve been doing then your powerbase will collapse and we’ll be food for the crows before the week is out. You’ve made a mistake, Falladan Greysong. A very bad mistake.”


Falladan looked at Vidal in silence for a few moments, then he let out a great sigh and banged loudly on the top of the table three times. Too late, Vidal recognised a signal, and before he had a chance to bolt for the door, three of the King’s Guard had burst in through the door behind the throne. Vidal reached for his knives, but before he could draw one he was seized from all sides and dragged, hissing and shrieking in fury, to Falladan’s feet. All trace of discomfort was gone from the Regent’s face, replaced with an icy smile.


“On the contrary,” said Falladan, “It is you who has made the mistake here, crossblood.  I honestly thought you knew me better than that.” He looked to the guards, “Hold him down.”


“What are you doing? Get your hands off me!”  Vidal struggled like a mad thing, but the combined might of the Guards was more than he could hope to overcome, and a swift, sharp blow to his abdomen knocked all the wind out of him. As he struggled for air, he felt the hard edge of the table digging into the small of his back as his arms were spread wide and pinned beneath the painful grip of gauntleted hands. Vidal tried to kick them, but the touch of something cold and sharp against his neck soon dissuaded him from that idea.


Falladan chuckled, “You’re not half as cunning as you’d like to think, are you Bastard? If you’re blind enough to come storming in here and make accusations that I have, of all things, made a mistake, then you clearly haven’t been paying enough attention of late. You tell me I have been a fool in starting a war. Well, let me tell you this – just because you didn’t know about it doesn’t mean I wasn’t planning it. You’re not the only knife I have in my belt, Vidal. And you’re certainly not the sharpest.”


Vidal’s eyes widened, “You actually want the city to tear itself apart?”


“Give me more credit than that,” Falladan laughed, and the knife edge trembled worryingly against Vidal’s neck. “The Rhydel will be gone before the week is out. If you had been here when I wanted you, you would have known that. Where were you all those days, Vidal? I had word you’d left the city, and I couldn’t help but make a few … presumptions.” The knife slid lazily across Vidal’s throat, and Falladan pressed the point to the throbbing vein beneath his jaw. “I would be most appreciative if you would care to tell me of your escapades.”


“For your information, I was busy covering your tracks. If I’m not your sharpest knife, I dread to think what opinion you hold of my cognitive abilities. At least I have the sense to hide the bodies.”


Falladan snarled, and a little hiss broke through Vidal’s gritted teeth as the knife dug worryingly into his skin, “Don’t be clever with me. In case you hadn’t noticed, your life isn’t exactly in the steadiest of hands at the moment. I’m not as young as I was, and I might be prone to a few unfortunate slips if you upset me.”


Vidal glared vengefully at Falladan. “I’m not here to kiss your arse, Greysong. You’ve got the rest of your pet worms for that. Ah!” A flash of pain and wetness ran down the side of Vidal’s neck as Falladan’s knife tore through the skin.


“Keep that filthy tongue of yours under control, or so help me I will cut it out and choke you with it. You’ve rather a high opinion of yourself if you think I give a sniff for your worthless existence. I think it’s time you learnt that.” Falladan shifted his knife and pressed it gradually over the thin flesh of Vidal’s white-furred ear. “Let’s start here.”



Watch your tongue, dear readers. You never know where it might land you...

18 comments:

  1. I still can't believe you have lessons on Saturdays. When you first told me, I was like Helen - eyes nearly popped out of my head!

    Then again, I have an hour of teaching ballet, 45 mins of my own ballet class, and an hour and a half of orchestra, all before lunch... so I guess it comes to much the same thing. No lie-ins for meeeee.....

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    1. Neh, it's not so bad - they're all over by 11:45, and it gives me something to do :P

      I only get lie-ins on Sundays. Which just about makes my week xD

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    2. I don't get lie-ins on Sundays :( I have to get up and go to church for worship group rehearsals at 9.

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    3. Yeuch! No fun! What about Saturday? I don't get a lie in then :P

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  2. Um Charley - Rachael just tried to storm in there to get Vidal out... She has strange loyalties - maybe because of the drink I named after him... or the fact she hates seeing people tortured and held against their will... Someday I just don't know. :}

    Poor Vidal.. kinda, he probably made the bed he's no lying in. *sigh* Don't know why I like him.

    *grins*
    :} Cathryn

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    1. (Becuase I'm awesome - Vidal states to Cayla - And don't worry, he's NOT getting away with that...)

      Hehehe, trust me, Vidal will have his vengeance! And it will be sweet *cackles*

      Haha, glad you like hte extract - more impetus to work on and finish the blasted thing! But, for now, St Mallory's is calling me...

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  3. I love that line about choking him with his own tongue. Very creepy. And I just cut a character's ear off last week. Whee!

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    1. Hehe, Falladan is Creepiness Incarnate. I'm glad you like that line - I'm rather fond of it myself, hehe!

      LOL, I didn't go quite that far, but poor Vidal's not got much ear left now ... good thing his people have huge ears, and he has a spare, right? xD

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  4. Wow, sounds like a pretty interesting story! Was that excerpt actually written during NaNoWriMo? Because if so, kudos to you! I doubt my NaNoWriMo novel was anywhere near as good as that last year...actually, it kinda makes me cringe. Ugh. ;)

    Great job with the story, though, that excerpt was really good! Keep up the good work and let us know when it's published! ;)

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    1. LOL, this is one of its better scenes - the dialogue in some other moments makes me want to cringe. That, and I have serious purple prose infestations and superfluous words going on up there ... bah, I'll sort that out when and if I finish the thing.

      Glad you liked the extract! Hehe, if it ever winds up in print, you'll be the first to know ;)

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    2. Hehe, I can relate. Some of the dialogue in The Sandcastle's Way is rather corny! xD And in my NaNoWriMo novel last year...well, that was mostly plot stuff that made me cringe. As in underdeveloped characters, plots holes, dangling plot threads, and a lack of any sort of climax. Yeaaaahhh... At least it sounds like your novel has a solid plot! ;)

      And I wish you the best of luck getting your work published, assuming that's your goal! I swear, there are so many dedicated writers around the blogosphere...if we put our minds to it, I know we can make it as published authors. :)

      Hugs!

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    3. Haha, I wouldn't be so sure - wretched Vidal up there kept changing the game. I don't think he'd quite decided whose side he was on when I was writing, so he kept doing some really weird things ... and I was like, "Oi! What ARE you up to? I need a coherent plot here!" xP

      Haha, oh yes, it IS my goal. First book's coming out htis year, though it's about as far removed from this as it gets. It's a collaborative work too, lol!

      *Hugs back*

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    4. Hehe, yeah. Characters are notorious for writing their own stories, which can be both a blessing and a curse! ;) It actually makes them kind of like kids - in the beginning they're kind of helpless, but as they grow and mature they get more complicated and rebellious and before you know it they're making decisions on their own. Which can be cool as well as terribly annoying, as they mess with the plot ideas you've had since the beginning. xD

      Ooh, that's incredibly exciting - CONGRATS! Let us know when it comes out! :D

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    5. LOL, so true. Except I've never met a kid seven-and-a-half feet tall with massive teeth, a bad temper and designs on world domination ... at least, that's what I THINK he's after. I can't actually tell thus far :P

      I will do! Hehe, I'll be too excited to keep it to myself :P

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    6. You have a point there. Good luck keeping THAT one under control! xD

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    7. I've tried. I have already failed. I have long since given up and trusted that he's big an ugly enough to look after himself ... he seems to be doing okay so far, unless you discount the little episode up here ... :P

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    8. Well, all parents have to let go of their children eventually and trust them to take care of themselves. xD Hugs!

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    9. LOL, I never had to hold him. He'd bite my face off if I tried to that, lol! xD

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