Thursday, 21 February 2013

Bread, Circuses, and Sausage

Sorry everybody! Revision, acute physical agony, and a cat named Sausage ate my holiday.

And no, I do not think I will elaborate on that. I want to see you come up with your best conspiracy theories in the comments.

I do, however, have a few more productive things to say to you - and I like to think some of them may pique your interest.

Namely because if it doesn't then none of them are going to happen.

I want to do a poll to see what sort of things you would like me to post about. I know, I know, this is lametastic, with extra-fried lame chips and a side dollop of lamesauce, but bear with me.

- Would you like me, at some stage in the future, to arrange a giveaway for paperback copies of St Mallory's Forever?

- Would you like me to post a little bit about promoting your book, post publication?

On the other hand, you could also leave me broader points - which of my posts do you like, and would like to see more of? Would you like me to do more reviews, or writing guides? Would you like me to talk more about books, or less?

Would you like me to video myself skydiving off the top of the eiffel tower dressed in a ball gown made of tin foil?

I'm joking. But I almost had you fooled, didn't I?

Leave me a comment, and let me know on any or all of the above - or something else entirely. It's all up to you for today, my friends.

I do want to see those conspiracy theories, though. Just saying.

~ Charley R


  1. I would love to see that skydiving video!

    ...I mean, yes, I would be very interesting in the giveaway (because I'm broke *coughcough* :P) and the stuff about promoting.

    But mostly, the skydiving.

    1. In which case . . . I need to find a plane, and someone willing to understand my insane desire to leap out of it in a tinfoil dress xD

  2. My theory: You were minding your own business, revising Ikarus (thus the revision), when Sausage, a feline undercover agent for Writer's Bane who has been sent to keep you from doing anything awesome, clawed you in some non-bionic section of your body. Thus, the acute physical agony. Seeing that it wasn't working, Sausage concocted a plan to animate your manuscript, which promptly became an enormous monster. Between Sausage and the evil manuscript, they ate a small slip of paper entitled "My Holiday".

    Saying the acute physical agony ate your holiday was obviously just poetic license.

    To be honest, I care not what you do in the future, as long as you keep writing where I can read it. Though that is true, I prefer things other than reviews, just because I usually don't read reviews of books I haven't read. But that's not your problem, it's mine. I probably wouldn't enter any giveaways, though I wouldn't mind acquiring a copy of your book. I would love to see you plummet from national landmarks, though whether you would survive to continue writing is questionable.

    1. Oh how I wish your theory was true. The acute physical agony of being attacked by Sausage the Agent Cat would at least be balanced out by the hilarity of hte situation.

      Thank you very much for your input! My well-trained (read: literate) minions are processing it and placing at the top of a pile marked Useful, But Possibly Linked To Nemesis Status. ;)

    2. If I wanted to sabotage you, I would have told you I wanted fanfiction-- nothing but fanfiction.

    3. I would possibly have had a breakdown and run around the room screaming for about half a century.

      Very impressive sabotage it would have been, too.

    4. Nothing but the best for you, m'dear.

  3. I feel like an idiot for not "getting" your title right away. Bread and Circuses yay!

  4. Okay, first of all, I go completely for the tinfoil dress. Eiffel tower and skydiving a must. (You probably shouldn't have suggested it...)

    Second! Yes to the giveaway! Yes to tips about promoting post-publishing! (Any tips at all about your publishing process.) Your writing-tip-posts are always really entertaining and fun and, I must admit, it's cool to know what you're working on in the literary-writing-book-world. Tinfoil dress first of all.

    1. . . . The amount of requests I'm getting for that skydive are worrying.

      Nevertheless, your input is highly valued. Hence why it is now being masticated by a shredder. Can't have my enemies seeing it!

  5. Giveaway!!!!! YES!!!! It is a must.
    And I want to be there when you jump off the tower. None of this video stuff. I am flying out AND WATCHING YOU!
    I like what you psot about writing!! Even though I am a lame follower and so often miss posts.... I FEEL TERRIBLE!!! But I seriously love your blog and try to read as many as I really am able too!!!! I love your random posts too, and the ones you do about your life. :D
    But let me know when to schedule my flight. ;)

    1. Absolutely. Will do.
      So many of you seem to like the idea that I now almost feel obliged to do it.
      Who cares about almost entirely certain bodily mutilation in the face of public demand.

      Aww, you sweetie, thank you so much! Your input and enthusiasm brings a wonderful smile to my face :)

  6. Okay, I don't even want to know what happened with the Acute Physical Agony + Sausage the Cat. It really doesn't sound pleasant in the least. O.o

    As for posts, personally I tend to enjoy most of the ones you come up with. :) They nearly always make me grin! Your two suggestions--a giveaway and a post (or posts) about book promotion--both sound interesting/cool, so by all means, share away! I also usually enjoy reading your writerly guides, even though I don't write high fantasy (at least, not at the moment--who knows if that'll change at some point).

    Also, books are definitely always good subject matter. Just sayin'. ;)


    1. Aww, thank you so much for the input! And I can assure you Sausage is not in any way linked to the acute agony, don't worry ;)

    2. Whew! That's a relief. *wipes brow* I was worried for a moment there. ;)

  7. OK. So. You're training to be a Stealthy Ninja Cadet in the secret police. You have to get yourself in insanely tiptop physical condition, which involves agonising training, and you have to learn to speak Russian, so every minute not spent in the gym/on the track/[insert other sport-related thing here] you're revising your socks off. Now comes the big day, when you go to the trials and meet the Head Honcho Stealthy Ninja, Rumanov Stealthavix, himself. You and all the other candidates fight in an arena, a la Hunger Games, and you get the better of them all with your strength, skill and excellent grasp of Russian. The big moment is coming, when Stealthavix will announce that you are one of the chosen Stealthy Ninja Cadets. You shut your eyes, waiting to hear your name called ... and hear a mewing sound. A cat named Sasuage is trotting into the arena. "Look!" cries Stealthavix. "A being so stealthy it can outwit the smartest of villains!" He turns to you and the other candidates. "Go home!" he spits.
    Devastated, you sprint home and fling yourself at the computer to drown yourself in Tumblr whilst eating chocolate. Seven episodes of Doctor Who later you're feeling strong enough to face the world and you write a blog post entitled Bread, Circuses and Sasuage. An amazing follower of yours named Emily comes along and spends far too long writing a ridiculous and potentially very embarassing comment on said blog post. She would also like you to know that she'd LOVE a giveaway of St Mallory's Forever!

  8. I love giveaways, but I've never won one.
    I like writing posts. Writing posts are good.
    Don't jump!!! :)

    ~Robyn Hoode