Thursday, 14 June 2012

Humans. And Why They Are Weird.

I learnt a new word not long ago: idiosyncracy. A little tick, or meaningless gesture or behaviour, often attributed to an individual during some action or process. We all have them - from those of us who always put socks on before trousers, those who arrange all their pencils in ascending order of size on their desk, right through to the little things like banging the top of all the bannisters on the way down stairs. Most of them are very little, un-noticeable, and occasionally rather endearing.

But some ... some of them are just plain weird. Here is my Top Five List of Weird Things that People Do.

1 - Checking their phones for no reason
Don't even try to con me with the excuse that you're checking the time - we wear watches for that. I can never get my head around the reasons why people feel the need to whip out their phones, in the middle of a conversation, to stare at a completely blank screen that has neither bleeped, buzzed or leapt ten feet in the air singing the William Tell overture.



2 - Using text contractions in everyday conversation
While I dislike contracting words in texts, I can see the need to be brief in order to save time and money if the message needs to be send quickly. But when I'm having a conversation with someone, I do not much appreciate being told that my story is "hilare" or that I am "totes over-reacting" to a "prob" that I tell to my "bez" over "sups".  If I wanted to speak to someone who lost half their words, I would dig out my old cassette tapes and play them into my ear on repeat. It's not convenient - it's just plain lazy. And very confusing.



3 - Wearing things "because it looks good"
I have a friend who owns the most evil-looking pair of high heeled shoes I have ever seen in my entire life. They are big, black, and stand taller than the length of my hand (which, in itself, is pretty long). Even the toe part of the shoe is platformed. The gap for toes to fit into is about the width of a penny, and I cannot count the number of times I have had to half carry her down the stairs to keep her from breaking every bone in her body. And let's not mention the blisters. Those things could make injuries from Saw movies look like papercuts. 


Despite this, however, she insists on wearing them to nearly every social function we have, even if it is a good half-hour walk from our boarding house. Why? Because, apparently, she would rather be carted off to A&E and drowned in morphine than dare risk looking out-of-style.


The same goes for any item of clothing that makes a person look like 1- a member of a travelling circus, 2- a confused, drunken backdancer at a Rihanna concert or 3- an oversized six-year-old. It may be fashionable, but that doesn't stop you looking ridiculous.



4- Calorie counting
Not only is it annoying as heck for the person you are eating with, but calorie counting is, actually, a fairly useless sort of weight loss on its own. Evidently being bashed over the head with the doctrine of DO MORE EXERCISE-ology isn't quite getting through to some people. What's more, if you deny yourself food and energy at a mealtime, you are just going to go stealing chips off the plates of your irritated friends two hours later.


Mathematics is not going to help you shift that half-a-turkey you still have hanging over from Christmas. Honest.



5- Wearing glasses as a fashion accessory
I don't mean sunglasses - those things are proven to increase your Awesome Index by at least 20% whenever you put them on. I'm referring to people who buy non-prescription glasses and wear them for the look. Seriously, even people who wear glasses don't want them, what on earth inspired you to think that it's a desirable trait? "Being hipster" only goes so far.


A special mention to those people who wear the frames with the lenses poking out - the award for Sheer What-On-Earth-Ery goes to you.


***



That is all.


~ Charley R

24 comments:

  1. *giggles* William tell - that's a nod to Moon isn't it and hte fact that Gloria set it as Morgna's phoen ringer? *giggles*
    - Oh and I don't wear a watch so yes I check the time on my phone - I haven't been able to wear a watch since I lost my last one way back in Uni. Hurstmy wrist and bugs me when I type.

    You have casset tapes? O.O

    Okay I confess to wearing heels - but those sound ridiculous.

    Hm... I try to be calorie conscious is that any better than actual calorie counting - I've never asked how many calories, but I dolook when buying sometimes.

    I totally agree with you on the whole galsses front - braces too... do you know they've become so poular over here (or so many people are getting them... don't know if those people really needed them like I did... ) that teens are asking parents if they can get braces? Um... hello? Not only was I teased for being a metal mouth in school, but the pain of adjustment still haunts me!

    And yes I have responded to each point as I read through. *grins*

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    1. Yes, I do still have cassette tapes! Lots of my childhood was spent in my room listening to stories on cassette tapes - I still have loads! Pity we don't have a machine that can play them any more :(

      People ask to have braces when they don't need them? Well, over here, perfect teeth are pretty much the norm, so most people get them even if it is just for minor reasons. Strange but true.

      Humans. Strange, strange humans.

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  2. Ok, something really stood out to me here:

    People put socks on AFTER their trousers? O_o I've always put socks on before trousers/jeans/whatever. Putting them on after... I mean, you have to pull the trousers up, to be able to get the socks on. It's more effort D: Haha!

    Now I shall go back into my little hidey-hole again.

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    1. You strange child! I always cover the bases before putting on extremity items like socks ... you weird person! Joking, I love you xD

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  3. Aye, I totally am on the same page as you with the "fashionable" glasses and the abbreviated conversations. It disturbs me to no end when someone says, "Your glasses are so cute, I want a pair!" Believe me disturbing person, you don't. They get dirty, and you have to break out the cleaning solution, and then there's a risk that you just might sit on them when you fell on the sofa after being tackled by your dog, who's not even that big. Yes, that was personal experience.
    Abbreviated conversations are just so annoying. Does it really take that much longer to say "cafe" as opposed to "caf"? It's one syllable. One little syllable. And yet people assume that the shorter the word, the cooler it is.
    Your friend with the high heels sounds a lot like my companion who tends to wear so much neon clothing that it hurts your eyes and makes you look like you fell into the clown store. She also has a pair of high heels with little death spikes on the side of which I have been impaled more than once. Ouch.

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    1. I could not agree more, on all counts - I don't wer glasses, but my friend is forever muttering to me about how irritating they are.

      Ahaha, neon clothing. I don't mind that so much. I think it looks daft, but people can wear what they want. What I disagree with is clothing that has no right to be clothing and is still considered cool. Like those silly babyish tops with the floppy collars and ribbons everywhere. We are not preschool children! WHY THE HECK DO PEOPLE THINK THAT LOOKS GOOD!?

      Gah, people xP

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    2. I have a thing against ribbons, actually. Nearly strangled myself to death once from a stupid ribbon halter top that was "the latest creation from [insert name of some famous designer I've never heard of]'s line of clothing!" Pah. Stupid ribbons. They're a health hazard to people everywhere.
      Your friend is correct. Glasses are a nuisance and forever bothering the wearer. As of the moment, I'm on a no glasses strike. I only need them for reading far away objects, and since it is summer, I don't plan on running around reading billboards that sport random companies. And glasses also give my poor nose a wicked tan line...pretty darn fashionable, eh?

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    3. D'awww *hugs you* I and my 20/20 vision pity you greatly.

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  4. See, this is why I 1) don't have a cell phone, 2) don't text because of (1), and when I do I still use proper spellings and grammar, 3) wear plain T-shirts and shorts every day (except when I wear plain jeans), 4) eat until I'm not hungry anymore, 5) wear glasses because I must, not because I want to (but those people are right-- wearing glasses automatically makes you look more like a genius). I spit in the collective face of "most people"!

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    1. And this is why I like you :)

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    2. Oh, thank you.
      And another idiosyncrasy of humans is that they try to hug each other. I don't do that either. *glares*

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    3. No, that is not an idiosyncracy. You are just strange ;)

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    4. I am not strange, you are. Why risk your safety in close physical contact with another human who'll probably slip a dagger between your ribs quicker than you can bribe them not to? I prefer salutes, bows-- anything that doesn't involve risking my personal safety.
      Paranoia forever!

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    5. Very well, oh paranoid one. You clearly have not mastered the art of threat-neutralising hugging.

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    6. What, like pinning the other person's arms to their sides whilst keeping one foot in position so that if the person backs away, they trip; all the time keeping three layers of bulletproof material between myself and the other person? Yeah... no.
      I can see why snipers are often more successful than hands-on assassins.

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  5. Charley, I got a good laugh from this post--it reminded me how much I love your blogging style. XD

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    1. N'aww, thank you! I'm glad it amused you :)

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  6. Um... I don't have a watch. And I've been know to use totes, but mostly because I think it's hilarious.

    I agree with you about the rest of them. I have glasses for medical reasons, I wear things because they are comfy, and I despise calorie counting.

    So I guess I'm only 40% weird!

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    1. Haha, nothing wrong with that! Anyone without a bit of weird in them is far too dull ;)

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  7. oh! haha, haha - cause I NEVER do ANY of those things! pfffftt why would you think that?? (except for wearing glasses as an accessory. I am a contact lens devotee)

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  8. I check my phone because Loki is my wallpaper and I need a doze every minute or two. :D

    I have also been known to say 'lol' when talking, but since that's pretty much the only contraction I use when texting, too, meh.

    And would you not count a deerstalker / horned helmet / fez as something that one wears because it 'looks good'? After all, horned helmets actually just make it easier for people to pull your head off but if someone bought me one I would wear it permanently because it looks good.

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    1. Hah, I only say "lol" when I'm using it sarcastically, when what I've heard genuinely isn't funny in the slightest. I mock text language at the same time - double bonus!

      Hmmm ... you discount the awesome factor there. Some people wear things that make them look completely ridiculous, but pretty much all of what you listed above just makes you appear more awesome (unless it's too big or doesn't fit). Therefore, you wear it for a logical reason. If you looked like a plonker, I would disagree xD

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    2. I always look like a plonker. Then again I tend to walk around in a deerstalker or a leather, fleece-lined aviator hat, denim shorts and multicoloured legwarmers, so I think my fashion sense leaves something to be desired.

      I need a horned helmet, damn it.

      Also, that was supposed to say 'dose', so I kind of failed to get my meaning across there.

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