Friday, 21 January 2011

Charley's 2010 NaNo-isms

For some bizarre reason (probably boredom) I found myself trawling through the NaNoWriMo site this afternoon, and found a few of my old posts. I thought some of them were somewhat hilarious, so I have decided to post them here for you all to enjoy *grins*

1 - In reply to "What Will Your Characters Do after your Novel Ends?"

Mine, I think, will probably end up being ditched on another world by their somewhat careless rescuers. I like to think they'll be happy, but after all the trauma I've put them through I think it might take a while for them to recover. The cute pair I've matched up should be fine, but one of my other FMCs may be eternally miserable because I drove her lover mad, then had him try to kill her, then, just when it looked like I'd be nice and give him back to her, I had him killed off brutally. Mwua ha ha ha ha.

My villains have all been blown up into tiny little bits by said murdered character ... and now I have a horde of dead bad guys running rupshot in my head with my other dead characters chasing them. It's like a demented game of ectoplasmic stuck-in-the-mud!

.... I think this is their idea of revenge.

2 - In reply to "Mistakes You Made as an Amateur Writer."

Ahaha, while I'm still not the world's best writer, I've been flicking back through my old stuff recently and ... oh my gods, it burns my eyeses!

1) Over-dramatisation. My MC did not fall in the river, he plunged head first into the icy cold abyss of freezing water that dragged at him and tore the air from his lungs. Yeah ... I still do that occasionally.

2) My characters all have ridiculously complicated names. Spell-checking them was a nightmare ... and I mis-spelled them enough times to blow my own brains out.

3) My heroes are such wusses. One second my warrior-hero is chopping through piles of evil enemies, the next he's blubbing like a baby because someone tried to take his arm off with a sword. *facepalm*

4) Cliched characters. Perfect heroes? Check. Sarcastic sidekicks? Yep. Evil swishy-cloak-wearing villain? You betcha. And don't get me started on the women .... because I rarely had any. As I myself am a girl, I find this slightly worrying ...

And finally ...

5) Character abuse. I must have been an axe murderer in my past life because I can't seem to go a chapter without brutally injuring someone. Broken arms, lost eyes, stab-wounds, enormous scars, limbs hacked off .... I was evil.

Probably still am, as I still torture them a good deal more than I should .... someone call the Character Police on me :P

And finally, in reply to "You have just been ... DELETED!"

I didn't delete any characters .... I just abused, tortured and brutally murdered all the ones I had already. I think I may be one of those writers whose body count is higher than her word count ... *looks at wordcount and giggles nervously*

I blame the bad guys.

Hee hee hee! *does crazy dance and runs away singing "God Save the Queen" with a floral towel around her head*

- Spook


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  2. Hilarious post, Spook! When you become a famous author, this will be something to include in your autobiography.